Hey guys! So in my last post (you can click here if you haven’t read it yet), I talked about why I stoped pointe for this year. After writing that I realized that I rely so much on other people’s approval of me, to be content with who I am.
Like the fact that I was sure other people around me would no longer think I am a good dancer, because I’m not doing pointe.
But really. That is a huge lie. My self worth should be found in Him and Him alone. I am, however, human. And being human I was born into a sinful world and a sinful nature.
Throughout my life, I have always been down on myself when I fail people or don’t meet their expectations. I haven’t wanted to go out of the house without changing clothes and putting on makeup, because I want peoples impressions of me to be good and not bad. There is a difference between dressing nice and looking nice as a form of respect (either for church, a business meeting etc.), and doing it because of what other people might think.
Why do we do all that, when the only one we need to please, is Christ? I don’t fully know the answer to that, but all I can say is that we are sinful, even if we are Christians and have a relationship with Him!
Guys, I’ve struggled with this a lot, especially being not the smallest person, and on top of that, being a dancer. As a dancer (ballet), I’m constantly in front of a mirror, correcting technique issues, artistry issues etc. But I also look at myself compared to the other, smaller, better dancers than me. Instead of seeing the beauty in myself and in those around me, I see my flaws and compare myself to those around me.
I have been so so blessed to have a family I’m really close with! And my two sisters both have a smaller body build than I do, which is totally great, we are all different in our own way! But throughout the years, I’ve felt like I shouldn’t be bigger than them, because I’m younger than they are. But really, I just have a more muscular build, which isn’t a bad thing.
Finding worth and purpose in the world and in yourself, will never work out in the end. The world is temporary and only offers things that will pass away. At the end of your life, will you still remember or value what you did in this world, that was of this world?
It’s a good question. My answer to that, is no. You won’t find meaning or satisfaction in this world. It gives you temporary happiness, temporary contentment. But God’s kingdom is everlasting, and even when we die, it will still be there. It is unwavering, just like the Father. We were made to eternally be with God, to have an intimate relationship with Him. Separated from Him, we are incomplete. Some people try to find completeness in the things of this world; money, fame, a relationship with someone. But non of that can compare or take the place of a true intimate relationship with God, the creator of the universe. That’s why if we don’t focus on Him first, and pursuing a relationship with Him, we will end up feeling empty.
This is the reality that the the enemy and the world try so hard to hide from us! But it is the truth.
So my question for however is reading this is:
Where do you put your trust, your love, your worth? At the end of your life, will whatever that is, make you feel complete, full of meaning, and value?
Sounds like you’re discovering a valuable nugget. Good for you.
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Amen!! 🤍 Everything you wrote I have struggled with and still sometimes struggle with. I always try to find my worth in the things of this world when I should be looking to God. And as you said being a dancer I also have looked at other girls dancing and compared myself to them. I always think they’re so much better than I am and I start taking the focus off why I dance. Thank you so much for this post Amber!! 💕
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Aw I’m so glad this post touched you Anna!! I think everyone, no matter their body build, has struggled with self-worth in some form. And a lot of time, we don’t realize how much we’re comparing ourselves to others when we’re in the moment. It’s when we step back and use God’s eyes that we see how much we obsess over it!
I love watching you dance and dancing with you, your dancing inspires me so much to dance with the Joy of the Lord!!